Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
