did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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