btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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