Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
