I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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