Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize