Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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