My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
im on a boat
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