I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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