Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
