sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
