Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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