Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
