What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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