So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
