I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
