I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize