just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
