I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ttyl tear gas
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
