i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
