Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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