I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
