with your own penis?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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