The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
