is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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