trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
