no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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