a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
