Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
