I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Even my vagina gasped.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
