I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
