ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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