I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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