So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
