Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
is it fun? or sober?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
