the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
