You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
