Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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