:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
