I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
