Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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