I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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