its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize