He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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