i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
