What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
