if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No subtext here. People are naked.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
