I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
