16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
