UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
