im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
