they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
