Banned from zoo.
Again?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
