he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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