Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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