How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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