wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
