Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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