i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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