She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
