How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
