my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
